Sorry to Leave you in the Dark

Okay, so I really didn't mean to be so mysterious with my posting last week.  I just wanted to formulate my thoughts a little bit before I shared about what I believe God has called me to do.

For a long time I have had the desire to help families struggling through infertility and adoption. One of the things that has always really frustrated me is the fact that the cost of certain options makes them unattainable for some people. It is the salt in the wounds of infertility.

Since experiencing this painful reality myself, I have felt that at some point in my life I would become an advocate for these families.

Last weekend an idea popped into my head that I knew was from the Lord. It seemed like such an obvious fit for me... like I have been preparing for this for years, with experiences that combine to make me the perfect person to take on this task.

So here it is {this is the part where I very vulnerably share my heart with you}:  I want to host a one day faith-based conference event for women, mainly geared toward women experiencing infertility and/or desiring to adopt.   I would love for it to be open to anyone that felt a calling to serve their friends or family experiencing these things, but keep the focus on bringing together women who have a common thread and need to find a community.

My initial thought is that it would be a luncheon, with break-away sessions on topics such as Adoption 101, Ethics and Infertility Treatments, Infant Loss & Miscarriange, etc., and then have some time for socializing, and finally a speaker and wrap-up. And here is the cherry on top... at the wrap up I would like to raffle off funds for one blessed attendee to use towards building their family!

I’m excited and nervous about taking on a new, VERY TIME CONSUMING task, but I feel like this is what I was made for! It involves everything I love to do: create, plan, socialize, support friends… it’s just me!

I knew this idea was from the Lord when I told Nathan and he immediately got on board!  He has been VERY encouraging and helpful already in formulating logistics and designing a plan.

I already have a name, a logo, a dream team list of people that I would like to be involved, and some ideas on how to raise the funds to do it all.

I will keep you posted on the progress.

And there it is.  My new calling.  My life changing.

A Moment

Have you ever had one of those moments when an idea comes to your mind and you know without a doubt it is a calling???

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They can be the most exciting and scariest moments of your life.

I had one of those moments yesterday.

It could change the course of my life over the next few years.

I'm ready.

My Escape

About once a year I allow myself to escape.  I tune out my life.  I ignore the laundry.  I don't answer emails.  I don't even really pay attention to my cell phone.

I just escape.

Last year I went to Rome.  I met Hadassah and Marcus, and watched them fall in love. I marveled at Hadassah's steadfast devotion to the man called Jesus Christ that her father knew and loved.  I ached for her, as she tried desperately to show her God to the family that enslaved her.  I cried the first time Marcus realized that the mysterious veiled servant was the slave girl that he had once loved.

I went to Rome and I stayed there until The Mark of the Lion was over.

Since Monday I have been in Panem.  I have hated the Capital.  I have been desperate for Katniss to let herself love.

I have learned that "Team Peeta" is not about animal rights.

Source: barefootwithchampagne.com via Emmy on Pinterest

I very purposefully saved this trilogy for Spring Vacation.  I knew that once I started I would not be able to stop, because I can't stop myself when I have escaped into a novel.

It drives Nathan crazy.

I finished Catching Fire last night, and have started Mockingjay.  I am already mourning the fact that by the end of the weekend it will all be over.  I will have to come home to Ladera Ranch.  I will have to face the mountain of laundry in my hallway, the stack of dishes in my sink, and the work that needs to be done so that the Student/Teacher Planners can go on sale at the end of the month, as promised.

And I will have to wait for my next escape. 

I wonder where I will go next.

But for now I return to Panem.

Today

I'm having one of those days where I am daydreaming about quitting my business.  I have these days every couple of months.

This morning I am thinking about all the food I would like to make.

Like this:

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and this:

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and for sure these:

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I am also thinking about all the things I would like to do to my house, that after a year and half still looks like we just moved in.

I want to do this:

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and have a room as eclectic as this:

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and create some fun accessories like these:

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and these:

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or maybe even these:

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I want to plan parties:

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paint my nails:

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and get my craft on, just because I can and not because someone is paying me to do it:

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Today I don't want to own a business. 

I want to be a housewife.

If you would like to see more of the things I would like to do if I had time to do them, you can follow me on Pinterest.

And Baby Makes... You Crazy!

I saw on Facebook the other day that a friend of mine from college is pregnant with her fifth baby.  5.  And I realized something: having a fifth baby crosses you over the line of just wanting a big family to being a crazy person.

When I hear that someone has four kids, I think that's nice... they wanted a big family.

But if I hear that someone has five or more kids, I have to admit that my first thought is wow... those people must be crazy.  {You can now refer back to my posting last week about being judgmental.}


Nathan and I always wanted a big family.  Which meant that we wanted four kids.

God obviously had a different plan for our family, and I have said many times that He clearly knew me much better than I know myself.

I like structure.  I like routine.  I like quiet.  Those things don't always exist in a big family.

Now don't get me wrong.  I think big families are awesome.  I think women who have baby after baby... after baby... are amazing.  If you are a mom of many, please don't take offense.  I have many friends that have five or more kids.  I have one friend that was pregnant or nursing for an entire decade because she has five kids that are all two years apart.  I have one friend that had a set of identical twins, then a third child, then another set of identical twins.  I have another friend that has five children, runs a thriving business, and blogs. 

I seriously don't know how they all do it.

If one of you is reading this, please know that I think you are amazing, incredible, special, and wonderful.

I just also happen to think that you are crazy.  In an I-wish-I-was-that-kind-of-crazy kind of way, but crazy nonetheless.  

My King

This is one of my favorite videos.  It brings tears to my eyes every time I watch it.

Do you know the King?  I'd love to tell you more about Him if you don't.

My King saved a hopelessly imperfect woman that makes mistakes daily.

My King redeems the most tragic of days, and fills them with joy.

My King provides when people can't.

My King comforts when the pain is deep.

My King is faithful when others are not.

My King cares about the tiniest details of my life, and grants silly wishes just to prove it.

My King reveals, in His perfect timing, His will for my life.

My King rose from the dead, so that I might have eternal life.

This Sunday is Easter.  Easter is the single most important event in Christianity because without the resurrection, Christ is not a savior.

But Jesus was raised from the dead.  He paid our debt.  And because of that we are offered the gift of eternal life.

Happy Easter.  I pray that each of you may know the gift that this day brings... so much more than some colored eggs and a bunny could ever offer.

Growing Old

Source: someecards.com via Emmy on Pinterest

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Source: someecards.com via Emmy on Pinterest

My sister-in-law always sends me these funny quotes, because we are the only two in our family that would rather be fat than exercise.

I am the heaviest I have ever been outside of pregnancy.  And you know what... that's okay with me.

I'm a little more curvy than I have ever been.  There are wrinkles on my face.  My hair would be mostly grey if not for my sweet L'Oreal.  My belly looks like it did when I was about three months pregnant.  I have moles that should be looked at.

All these things mean that I am getting old.

But you know what else comes with age: wisdom, maturity, and grace.  I will take all the rest if it means I get these. 

And I don't have to exercise to get wisdom, maturity, or grace.  Bonus!