Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Confession: Real Housewives

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I confess... I watch The Real Housewives shows.  

I watch them because it's a train wreck that I can't stop watching.

I watch Orange County because I have a sick obsession with seeing familiar places.

I watch New York because I love Bethenny Frankel.  She cracks me up.

I watch New Jersey only occasionally... only if I happen to catch it late at night or while folding laundry.

I do not watch Atlanta.  Let me be clear.  I've caught scenes here and there, but... I can't handle Atlanta.

When I started watching The Real Housewives of Orange County I was extremely disturbed.  I have lived in Orange County my whole life, and I can tell you with certainty that these women do not represent the majority here.  

I've often said that someone should do a show called  
The Real, Real Housewives of Orange County.

The Real Housewives live lavish lifestyles in huge homes with housekeepers and nannies.  
The Real, Real Housewives try desperately to afford to live in Orange County on one income (or even two), living in tiny homes with no yards, possibly with a cleaning lady once or twice a month, and swap kid-watching duties so they can go to the grocery store in peace every once in a while.

 The Real Housewives take a limmo to Fred Segal to spend the day shopping and pampering in the spa.
The Real, Real Housewives get their nails done at Happy Nails while bribing their kids with suckers to sit quietly in the front and not cause a scene.

 The Real Housewives overturn tables and fight like cats and dogs.
The Real, Real Housewives have fights with cats and dogs... and lose (both stories for another day).

 The Real Housewives think they are hot, and look for any excuse to be seen in a bikini.
The Real, Real Housewives are insecure, and will do anything to avoid being seen in a bikini.

 The Real Housewives rarely have a nice thing to say about one another.
The Real, Real Housewives get encouragement, empathy, compassion, help and genuine love from one another... at least that has been my experience. 

So if you don't live in Orange County... don't believe that this show accurately represents us.
I choose to believe that not everyone in New York insists on being called "the Countess",  that not everyone in New Jersey has been arrested for cocaine possession, and that not everyone in Atlanta wears wigs and dates married men.

But I will still watch them.


  1. This is hilarious! So true! And I don't even have a cleaning lady! ;) One mid-western woman on my photography forum said something to the effect of, "It must be nice to live in Orange County and be able to afford whatever camera equipment you want!" I set her straight. So thanks for helping to debunk the myth!

  2. I watch 'em all....

    NJ just started season 2 and it is a doozie - make a point not to miss it!! Those girls would make the OC gals cry!

    I dont have a cleaning lady either (if you have been here, it's painfully obvious.)

    I did a blog on the REAL Real Housewives of the OC a year or two ago....using pics of the gals around the Avendale pool during Liquids practice...check my archives :)

  3. i love it! cute blog post! i too watch as a guilty pleasure!!! my girlfriend alissa cirle invited me to be a follower.

  4. I love your's so true!!! I bribe my kids with lollypops all the time and have amazing friends who love and support me! We should all really start a new show =) LOL

  5. You hit the nail on the head and stole the words right out of my mouth, Em! I too, (bashfully admit) I watch these trainwrecks and had to laugh at your description of why you watch each one...the SAME exact as mine; CAN'T stand Atlanta, either! Great post:) Thanks for putting a smile on the OC Housewife's face, today:)

  6. Love it!!! I love the Happy Nails reference too. I miss getting my nails done there and Living in the OC!

  7. D'ya know, we get this show on British tv too?!
    We have satellite transmission here in France so we get it here too!

    TV seldom portrays real life in my experience, even the so called "real" shows...or am I being naive?! :)

    Cool post! It's always nice to put thing straight! Good on you Emmy! :)

    My love,

  8. Not one person could have said it better.
    Well done.

  9. i don't watch any of them, but SERIOUSLY THINK that "happy tv land" might want to think about adding some encouraging, marriage glorifying shows to their schedules. about women who like staying home with their kids, find joy in frugality, take walks, offer a shoulder to cry on, kiss boo-boos, do laundry and LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS.

  10. Alissa Circle from Rags to Stitches sent me a link to your blog. I think that I just fell in love?!?! You are so witty and observant... Honestly I laughed out loud to myself while reading. I wish they'd follow you! Can't wait to read more posts. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Fabulous! As an orange county resident for a good chunk of my life, but not in several years, i had convinced myself from watching a few episodes of The Real Housewives of Orange County and the OC, that all of my former haunt had gone to hell in a hand basket (Do you also make hand baskets?). Thanks for reassuring me :)

  12. OMG Emmy, I am a Real Houswives addict too;}
    follow me on twitter @Ma21cuteboy, there are a bunch of us including Alex McCord{@mccordalex} that tweet Mon & Thurs!