Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Obsession: TV Time

I had surgery this morning.  Nothing serious, just an umbilical hernia... one of the leftover joys of pregnancy.

So in the spirit of the day, since I have spent the day watching TV, and because I already gave you some of my all time favorite movie lines... here are some of my TV favorites. Can you place them?  Honestly, some of these are pretty obscure... this is going to be tough.

1.  "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so, I'm so... scared!"

2.  "Did anybody call here asking for Vandelay Industries
No, what happened to you?
All right, listen closely, I was at the unemployment office and I told them I was very close to getting a job with Vandelay Industries, and I gave them your phone number. So now, when the phone rings, you have to answer "Vandelay Industries".
I'm Vandelay Industries?
What is that?
You're in latex.
What do I do with latex?
I don't know, you manufacture it.
Right here in this little apartment?
And what do I say about you?
You're considering hiring me for your latex salesman.
I'm gonna hire you as my latex salesman? I don't think so. Why would I do that?
Because I asked you to.
If you think I'm looking for someone to just sit at a desk, pushing papers around, you can forget it. I get enough headaches just trying to manufacture the stuff."

3.  "You know if your not careful, you could not get married at all this year."

4.  "Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together."

5.  "I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third."

6.  "What are you going to do? Steal a car? Burn down a house? Punch out the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend."

7.  "Yes, each new day in suburbia brings with it a new set of lies.  The worst are the ones we tell ourselves right before we fall asleep.  We whisper them in the dark, telling ourselves we're happy, or that he's happy.  That we can change, or that he will change his mind.  We persuade ourselves that we can live with our sins, or that we can live without him.  Yes, each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate, desperate hope that come morning it will all be true."

8.  "You're just a slutty lying liar who lies."

9.  "You know how in a fairy tale there's always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that except you don't wake up in a castle — you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation."

10.  "You know, this town is the absolute embodiment of dull. Apart from the occasional sex scandal provided by yours truly, nothing happens here."

 11.  "You know that stuff will kill you.
Something will. Might as well be cheese spray."

12.  "You know what, I'm tired! Could you just call yourself an idiot?"

13.  "Like women all over America, my mother confronted tragedy and death with cold ham and Jell-o salad."

14.  "I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl."

15.  "Wait, I just remembered something!  You're boring and my legs work."

And here's the Nathan Bonus (although, truth be told, I loved this show and my mom was the one that turned us on to it):

"We're going to cut costs or everyone's going to be sucking off the government teat... and that is one crusty heifer!" 

Let's hear it... how many can you name?


  1. 1. the ... oh so touching ... performance by jesse spano on saved by the bell ... the "no-doze" incident ..,

    3. has to be friends ... ross!

    5. the office, has to be a michael scott quote

    7. desperate housewives?

    that is better than i thought i would do!

  2. I love the cheese spray quote, but I just can't place what it is from. I remember hearing it and laughing.

  3. 1. Saved by the Bell
    2. Seinfeld
    3. Friends
    4. Arrested Development
    5. The Office
    6. The OC
    7. Desperate Housewives
    8. OTH
    12. Everybody Loves Raymond
    14. New Hart - Thank you D
    Bonus - The Loop - This isn't because I know the show . . . I just know Nathan!

  4. 2. Seinfeld
    3. Friends
    4. Arrested Development
    5. The Office
    7. Desperate Housewives
    13. The Wonder Years
    14. Newhart

    These are the ones I know without peeking!

  5. 2. sounds vaguely familiar but couldn't tell you for sure
    3. Friends
    4. Arrested Development!!
    5. The Office
    7. guessing Desperate Housewives because of the words desperate
    11. I don't know, but I like the quote!
    13. Wonder Years
    14. Newhart