Anonymous

I am officially a blogger... I have a hater.

I knew this day was coming... although I had hoped that I was keeping my blog positive enough to spare myself from comments like these. I woke up this morning to this comment on yesterday’s post:

“Don't you feel kind of guilty accepting a donation when you pay to have a cleaning lady come to your house? I know you don't pay her $2,000 but I mean, cutting back a little would help. I know I wouldn't participate in your raffle week knowing you have the extra money to hire a cleaning lady. OR... maybe just don't mention it in your blog. I know you're not flaunting it... but really, did that detail need to be inserted?”

Posted, of course, by “Anonymous”.

Anonymous... interesting that you find it easy enough to call me out on something from behind the veil of an anonymous comment.

I chose not to delete your comment however, because I think it is a reasonable question. So not only am I not deleting your comment, but I am now creating an entire blog posting {on a Saturday, mind you} to answer your question.

First of all, let me say that I chose to hold this raffle as an avenue for my friends and family to participate in our adoption. Friends and family who know and love Nathan, Beau and me, who have watched us walk the long, expensive and painful road of infertility for the last six years, and who have asked to help in any way that they can.

I realize that many of my readers are “virtual” friends that for some reason find me interesting enough that they keep coming back. I am ever so humbled and grateful for these people.

I did not expect that people who do not know our family personally would want to participate in this raffle, however I have been absolutely blown away by the support and love I have received from so many of you… it has been a huge, unexpected blessing.

Yes, I have been gifted $2,000 for our Home Study.

Yes, my amazing friends {who know that I have a cleaning lady} are paying for the majority of our adoption costs {probably somewhere around $25,000}

Yes, I am still asking for more help.

Yes, I have a cleaning lady that I pay $80 every two weeks.
I also dye my hair out of a box, do not have acrylic nails, and Nathan and I both drive 9 year old cars that are paid off.

I don’t feel the need to lie about our situation, or justify every penny that I will spend over these next few months, but I do want to address this issue.

I run my own business out of my home. 

I am a person that goes 90 miles an hour, all day long. 

I never stop. 

Even if I am watching TV, I am working on a project, sorting through my mail, or folding laundry. 

In these last two years as my business has grown, I have found it impossible to run my business {which is a full-time responsibility with employees to pay} and keep up with my household, while still finding time to play with my son. 

If it comes to a choice between having a half an hour to sit down and play a game with Beau or clean a toilet… Beau will always win.

Part of the Home Study process requires a Home Inspection.

If I did not have a cleaning lady… we would not pass that inspection. It’s that simple.

We could make little cuts here and there… and it would realistically take us at least a year to save up $5,000. We have waited six years for a brother or sister for Beau. 

We are not getting any younger and neither is he.

We feel very confirmed that this is God’s timing for our family.

If people are willing to help, we are willing to take it, with great humility and gratitude.

I have to admit that this comment hurt my feelings. 

I am hoping {and telling myself} that it came from someone that does not know my family.

It got me thinking though… I struggle with being a judgmental person. 

It is a sin that I fight every day. 

This comment made me think about all the times that I have judged someone else’s situation from the high and mighty place of my own soapbox.

I am going to try not to do that anymore.

And I am certainly not going to leave an anonymous comment passing my judgment.

One other thing:

Like I said, I have been blown away by the response to our request for help. I have opened a new bank account and all of the money raised from this raffle will go directly into that account, keeping it separate from our regular family funds. When our process is over, and we have finished covering the costs of our adoption, it is my hope and prayer that there will be some funds leftover for us to pass on to another couple that needs help building their family. I would even love for this raffle to be an annual event, so that we could help many families over the years.

It is also Nathan and my plan that should God ever bless us with an abundance of wealth, that we would be able to bless another family {as our friends are for us} with covering the costs of their adoption.

I cannot think of a better gift you could give a person than the chance for a baby. My friend has told me several times through tears what a blessing it is for her to get to do this for us.

Anonymous… I don’t expect you to contribute to our raffle. I don’t expect you to ever read my blog again. And that’s okay.

God has a plan for my family, and your comments are not going to deter us.

To everyone else… thank you for your support and love, whether or not you choose to buy raffle tickets. I am so secure in the fact that God has blessed this plan, that I know much good is going to come out of it, and that many people, not just my family, are going to be blessed by it.

Like all of our friends and family that have been praying for us for six years.

And my son, who told my sister the other day when she asked him how he was feeling about all this that “it is like every one of my penny wishes is coming true.”

**Update**

Thank you so much to all my dear friends that came rushing to defend me.  It turns out that what could have ruined my day ended up blessing me in many ways.
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good." -Genesis 50:20


In case you don't check the comments, I wanted to be sure that everyone saw that Anonymous sent me the following:

"Dear Emmy,
I am very sorry for the things I wrote. I wrote them last night after viewing your blog and moments later I was so ashamed of myself that I tried to delete it… and I couldn’t. I have no excuses for why I said those things. I guess it was just my first reaction to reading your blog. A reaction that should have been kept to myself. I wrote it last night at work (I work the graveyard shift) and I couldn’t even sleep when I got home from work. I was sick to my stomach. You are right, I do not know you. I now understand your reasoning… although you did not owe me ANY explanation on why you get a cleaning lady… and I should not have assumed you did owe an explanation. I am so embarrassed for what I did. It is truly not even like me. I would be so ashamed if my husband, family or friends even know I did something irresponsible and rash like that. I am posting this anonymously again because I’m so embarrassed. You have a lot of family and friends supporting you and I can’t believe I would judge someone I don’t even know and then publicly attack them. You are a much better person that I’ll ever be and I apologize for inserting myself into your life so negatively. I am not a hater, although my actions definitely reflected that. I know this apology cannot take away what I wrote, but I did want you to know, for what its worth, I am truly sorry. I was going to send this personally to your email-- but if I can publicly criticize and judge you, I need to publicly apologize."

I am truly and deeply impressed that she did not get defensive, but just humbly apologized.  I think that shows real character.  As I said in my response to her, there have been many times that  I have run my mouth without thinking, or lost sleep over my actions, but I'm not sure that  I would have taken the time to write such a sincere, honest apology.

Whoever you are Anonymous {and I don't need to know} I hope that you will stick around this crazy blog, and maybe even make some more {non-anonymous} comments in the future.